Rosebuds
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her "Loosen up, grams. These are modern times. You got let your rosebuds show!"
and out she
goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...
The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds,
then I can display my hanging rose garden."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on
the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow THIS out.'"
--Jerry Seinfeld
Ouch
A little old man shuffled.........slooooowly...........into an ice cream parlor, pulled himself ............... slooooooowly............and
painfully........... up onto a stool.
After catching his breath.............................. he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "arthritis."
Back to Top
Shirtless
A man came walking up to his grandparent's house when he noticed his grandfather sitting on
the porch
with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off into the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no clothes on from the waist down?", he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here without a shirt on and I got a stiff neck.
This was your Grandma's idea!!"
Panties
Grandma went into Victoria's Secret and wanted to buy some fancy
new panties to get Grandpa in the mood.
The sales lady talked her into buying a real nice, bright red
crotchless pair. Grandma put them on and waited for Grandpa to
come home.
When Grandpa came home, Grandma was all laid out on the bed
spread-eagle, pointing down to the new crotchless panties she
had on.
She said, "Come on Grandpa, you want some of this?"
Grandpa said, "Lord no, it done ate a hole in your panties."
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Sagging
Seniors
