On The Road With Idiots
Emergency
Milo passed away and Bud called 911. The 911 operator
told Bud that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bud replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for
me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bud said, "How
'bout if I drag 'er over to Oak Street and you pick her
up der?"
Stupid Signs
On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon
a 'Road Closed' sign.
Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck
around it and continued on. But he didn't get very far.
The pavement ended, giving way to another, larger sign:
"What Part of 'Road Closed' Didn't You Understand?"
Click to add to Favorites
Who Me?
One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to
her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was
late, there was very little traffic, and we were
enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the
usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to
various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said,
"I have a question."
"What do you want to know?" I
responded.
"Mom, when you're driving," she asked,
"are YOU ever the idiot?"
Help Line
General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did . . .
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the
engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to
know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
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