Lemons
Upon entering the confessional, a young women spilled the beans, admitting: "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me -- seven times."
The priest thought long and hard, then said, "Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass, then drink it."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said, "No, but it will wipe the smile off your face."
Closet Salesman
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband
is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them
and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover
in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the
closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy,
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and let's have
a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I
sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks,
"How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge
your friends like that...that is way more than those
two things cost. I'm going to take you to church. You
need to understand God's way. You need to go to
confession."
They go to the church and the father makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit
again."
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