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"Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown ups, I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets 'em ready for the real world"
--George Carlin
Boy Will Be Boys!

A little white boy was watching his mother in the kitchen making a chocolate cake from scratch. While the mother had her head turned, the little white boy went to the table, dipped both hands Requires a Java Enabled Browser. in the chocolate frosting and covered his face with it. The mother turned around to see what the boy was doing and said "Boy, what the hell are you doing?"
The son gleefully replied "Look, Mama! I'm black!!!"
The mother became enraged and slapped the crap out of her son. She then said "Boy, go show your father what you've done!"
The boy then walked into the den where his father was reading and said "Look Daddy! I'm black!!! " Link To MSPCA
The father put his magazine down and had a very puzzled look on his face from seeing the chocolate on the boy's face. The father said "Come here, boy!"
The boy came to him and the father smacked his son across his head. The father angrily said "Now go show your grandpa what you've done!!!"
The boy then slowly walked to his grandpa who was on the porch and said,Healthy Choices from Ron & Karen "Um....Grandpa. Look what I did. I'm black now"
The grandfather said gruffly "COME HERE, BOY!" The grandfather took the boy over his knee and proceeded to spank him. "That'll teach you! Now go back in the kitchen with your mama!!" 
The boy walks back in the kitchen and the mother said "I hope you've learned your lesson, young man!" 
The boy says with a scowl on his face "Heck yeah! I've been black for 5 minutes and I hate you white mutha fuckers already!"


The Farm Boy

A little boy lives on a farm and he woke up one morning in a bad mood.  He sat down at the breakfast table and his mom asked him, " Did you do your chores yet this morning? " 
" No..." he replied in a cocky attitude.
" You know the rules: You don't get breakfast until you do your chores. "  Mom told him.
So the little boy says FINE, mumbles a bit and goes outside to do his chores. As he is feeding the chickens, he kicks one.  As he is feeding the pig, he kicks the pig.  And as he's passing the cow, he kicks the cow.  He goes back inside and sits down just as his mom is putting a bowl of dry cereal in front of his chair.  " What's this!? Where's my eggs and bacon and milk!!!??? " He screams.
Calmly his mom tells him that she watched him do his chores.  " I saw you kick the chicken, so for a week, no eggs.  I saw you kick the pig, so for a week, no bacon.  And I just KNOW you kicked the poor cow, so for a week, no milk. "  
Her son grumbles and starts eating his cereal.  His dad comes down stairs and kicks the cat out of his way. 
The little boy looks at his mom and says " Hey!  Do you want to tell him or should I? "

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Why Parents go Grey

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of  having to  talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "no". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a  message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman"?Link to Laughin' at Laden Backroomdesigns Jokes
"No, he’s busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?, asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"?
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They’re looking for Me!"
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