Taxes and God

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. Requires a Java Enabled Browser.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
 Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys deducted $95.00 in taxes.

Strongest Man in the Bar

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, truck drivers, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice 'I`d like to try the bet.'
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd`s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man 'What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?'
The man replied 'Actually, I work for the IRS.'

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
 "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."

Helping Hand

A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station. People were all crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting, "Give me your hand!" But the man would not reach up.
Joe elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man. "Friend," he asked, "What is your profession?"
"I am an IRS agent," gasped the man.
"In that case," said Joe, "Take my hand!"
The IRS agent immediately grasped the Joe's hand and was hauled to safety. Joe turned to the amazed by-standers and declared, "Never ask an IRS agent to "give" you anything, you fools!"

Corrupted Child

The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.
Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long- term capital gain?"