DPW Anywhere

A guy stopped at a local gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole. The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road.
"I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can into a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?"
"Well, we work for the government and we're just doing our job," one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?"
"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree and Leroy, here, puts the dirt back. Now just because Elmer's sick, that don't mean that Leroy and me can't work."

I love being a Government Employee -

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart....
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them in to 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good....
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff, " Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good....
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, screwed the other three cats, then claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the remainder of the day.

Trying to Qualify

Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD
Close, but not close enough. The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed.
They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD.
About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.