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A Heiniken Shake
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Jumper Cables

A guy walks into a bar just before closing with a Link to Bush Whitehouse.org pair of jumper cables wrapped around his neck and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, "Okay, but don't you go starting anything."


Kinky CostumeCocktail dot Com for Mixologists

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, 'Going to a party ?'
'Yeah,' the man answered, 'I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life.'
'But you look like Abe Lincoln.' protested the barkeep.
'That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago.'


 "I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.".........George Best

Night Drinkers Link To Onion

Three vampires go into a bar. The bartender walks up to the first one and says, "What can I get you?"
The vampire says, "I want a pint of blood." Pub Crawling Solution
The bartender then asks the second vampire, and he too replies that he would like a pint of B blood.
The bartender then asks the third vampire for his drink order. The vampire says, "I want a pint of plasma."
The bartender thinks for a minute and says, "Let me see if I've got this right. That's two bloods and a blood light?"

Drunken Behavior

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill.
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"
The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you drink."

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Idiots • Blonde Jokes • Rednecks • Healthcare • KIDS • The Sexes • Seniors' Jokes • Bar Jokes • Religious Jokes • Love ? • Irish Jokes • Sports Jokes • Lawyers • Animal Jokes • Laughin' at Laden • Government • Money • Massachusetts

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