From Alabama. With Love.
A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a
Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says,
"You ain't from around here ... where you from,
boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender asks, "What do you do up in
Pennsylvania?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist ... what the
hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar,
"It's OK boys, ... he's one of us."
Q: Why did the Mercedes Corporation build their plant in Alabama?
A: The endless supply of crash test dummies.
Q:
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under
each arm?
A:
A pimp.
Q:What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
A:Drool.
Q: What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?
A: Relative humidity
Birth Control
A researcher is doing a study on the sexual habits of trailer
park denizens in Alabama. He finds one family with 12 kids and
decides to ask the mother some questions.
"Ma'am," he asks, "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you
know anything about contraceptives?"
"What the hell're yu a talkin' 'bout?" is her reply.
"Okay, well, for instance... what do you and your husband use
when you're having sex? Do you use condoms? A diaphragm? IUD?"
"Nah," she replies. "We get along fine just a usin' my
ol' man's pecker."
Claim to Fame for Alabama
If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible,
then Adam and Eve's children would actually have had to have sex with one
another for the earth to have become populated.
This is surely proof positive that Alabama was at one
time the Garden of Eden.
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